HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009

Well it looks like Chew-Mee could not even wait till 10:00 a.m. (Midnight in Cambodia) to ring in the new year. She has already started drinking at 5:30AM! I have a feeling this is going to be a very long day.....

No place Like Home

Well, since Louise has burned Fire in The Hole to the ground, she had to find a new hang out. Be warned, she has been seen hanging out at Beto's Mexican Restaurant over in Warren.

"What the fuck you looking at ass bag!"

"What? Soda? I ordered a beer!" Louise, you didn't order anything, that was left on the table by the last patron...

"Hey, you gonna eat that?"

So if your in Beto's and feel a tug on your shirt, you might have accidentally sat down in Louise booth, which by the way, makes an excellent bed. Proceed with caution! "Time for a nap, can you please go away!"

Chew-Mee's New Year

Many people ask us, "Who is Chew-Mee Moore?" Well that is kind of a hard question to answer. Chew-Mee is based on a real life Go-Go dancer that I saw one night in Bangkok back in 1985. (And yes she really did dance with 2 eels) When I made up Chew-Mee in my sick twisted mind she went from being a female Go-Go dancer to a Ladyboy Eel Dancer, and I made her come from Cambodia instead of Thailand. I guess because I always wanted to go see Angkor Wat but was not able to get in to Cambodia back in '85. This New Year's Eve Chew-Mee will be stepping out of the cyber world and in to the real world. But be warned the new year comes to Cambodia at 10am Bisbee time, and that is when Chew-Mee will start drinking. So by the time she makes it to "La Roka" for her New Year's Eve crab cakes, she should be really, really fucked up. Since I really hate that song "One Night in Bangkok" I give you another song that was a hit back in '85 Carabao's "Made in Thailand"

There's Fire!!!!!

Well that's just great! It looks like Louise past out while Freebasing and set "Fire in the Hole" ablaze last night.... Then she tried to put the fire out with the Gas/Vodka Pump...
But that just made it worse and the place went up like a Roman Candle!Thanks Louise!

Where There's Smoke....

Zongo Sez......

DON'T PIMP THE GIMP!

Hells Deep Freeze

Wow there is no way to paint out there with frozen paint! Even Hells Deep is frozen today, so back inside to post more videos.

Whine Cellar

And whatever you do, don't ever accept an invitation to go in to the wine cellar with Zongo or Louise at "Fire in the Hole" because there is no wine cellar.

Dr.Zongo and Professor Louise

Since everyone liked The Raven here are two more songs from the same album. You have been warned about Dr. Zongo and Professor Louise.

Napping, Tapping and Rapping

If you happen to be a Napping and you hear a Tapping that sounds like a Rapping, it could be Toulouse looking for Big Brass, or it could be Gimpy.................BEWARE OUT THERE! BEWARE!

Where's Gimpy?

Well it's looks like Zongo and Louise have come up with a new game, it's called, "Send Gimpy Back Home"

Here's how you play. Zongo and Louise have made Gimpy the Bondage Sock Monkey into their "Sex Slave" but they feel that Gimpy is not twisted enough yet. So he has been made into a "Chain Letter Sock Monkey"
Gimpy is now somewhere in the streets of Bisbee waiting for the first Player/Victim to find him. When they do, they can do whatever they want with him but must add an item to his new outfit before he is sent on to the next Player/Victim. He must go to 7 different people before he can be returned to Zongo and Louise. They have already chosen Gimpy's first new friend. MMMMMM I wonder who it could be?

For Eartha....

Louise got some bad news today after she found out that her old drinking buddy Eartha Kitts past on...

New Toys

After everyone has gone off to bed, Louise hits the loot under the tree. She finds 2 of the coolest gifts and rips the name tags off and puts on her own, then takes off back to "Fire in the Hole"A full bottle of Vodka and a Gas/Vodka Pump....SWEEET!
Much better than a pair of socks or another Fucking Socking Monkey like the humans get every year...

This works great! No mess, No Waste...
Then Drinky Bird shows up, "Fire in the Hole's" first customer of the day for the pass 50 years...

With the sun coming up Louise knows she better get her ass to bed before the others see her with her new gifts...

The Morning/Evening After

Just getting up after a night of Par-Taying Louise feels like a shipped that has been capsized by a Tsunami...

Everyones Ready....

Hello everyone... we are just about ready! The day is beautiful and I've been cooking all day long. Just about ready to jump in the shower and put on the finishing touches.
Arunas has been up since 5:43 a.m. and is waiting for the guests to arrive and admire him. He used 1000 brush strokes to ready his hair and has on his holiday finest. Please take note and comment.

Louise is out at Fire in the Hole having a Stiff Cock...

And not a moment too soon! Look who's here, Trench Foot and Zongo. Happy Holidays everyone!

Getting Ready...

For the party! Louise! Did you drink all the WINE! And eat all the COOKIES! What will I sever the guests? "Not my problem Jess, had to take something to the holiday potluck at Elmo's... see you around the 3rd of the new year!"

Stole this pic off if Wendy's blog... it sums up my inner feelings for today. Let's hope all goes well, people enjoy themselves, and the weather doesn't turn shitty. I really want to stoke the chiminea up tonight!

Making Christmas...

Cookies! That's where I've been all day with Jade and Wendy. Louise showed up towards the end to gripe and eat a few herself. She said, "You DO realize that you've been doing this since 11 a.m."

"And it's now after seven?"
"And... Jesus Christ, HOLY SHIT! Look at all these cookies!"

"Wait, is that a Toulouse cookie I see? Ha, ha, ha... You really have no life do ya Jess?"

"Jess? Where did you go?"

A New Friend!

Hello all, Jess here to tell you all about Louise and Toulouse-La Pigeon's first encounter. When we arrived at the party Louise told me she had to go, "powder" her nose, and was last seen headed for the rest room. Unfortunately she took a wrong turn and got lost in the underground catacombs of The Loma Linda. She missed most of the party, but when she finally did emerge she ran into Bisbee's latest transplant, Toulouse-La Pigeon.
They got acquainted for a bit discussing religion, life, travel, and the whole meaning of Christmas thing. Louise thought it must be Toulouse's first Christmas, he didn't seem to know much at all about the holiday, mainly that he needed to secure a gift for Louise ASAP! All that invigorating conversation worked up their appetite and they decided to head out to the buffet table. "Ya gotta see the spread out there Toulouse baby... we are living high on the hog!"

They ate for a bit, and then played in the food. Toulouse absolutely LOVES the feel of pate between his toes!

After all that munching they decided to get a tasty beverage. They chilled out in the ice bin. "But where is the Merlot?" Toulouse asked pecking around in the cubes. "Silly Toulouse, " said Louise, "Everyone knows Meer-Lot is served hot!"

Since neither of them could master the wine opener they asked Big Brass to help out. Louise picked a bottle of vintage red and Big Brass opened it... not to sure if she should or not.

Louise was pleasantly surprised at just how much she likes this new fellow. For a moment she thought he might be a bit pretentious, being a New Yorker and all, but that was clearly not the case!

"Fuck, he's so nice and polite nobodies gonna put up with me and my shit anymore." Yep, Louise I would be worried too! I heard a rumor that your fifteen minutes are up!

Hmm...

What could that wacked out little monkey be thinking of now? "I'm thinking I'm leaving your ass home today while I go and party at The Loma Linda bitch!"

180 Proof

Well, I did not realize just how bombed I was at the Bombshelter party...
But as you can see from these pics provided by Kate, I was out there...

I think I might have upstaged Louise even...

But who cares, I had fun!

30 Dias Mas...?

Can it be true? In 30 days we are about to say Goodbye to the WORST PRESIDENT IN U.S. HISTORY....Ah what will the poor Right-Wing Nazi's do now ?
Or will the GOP declare Marshal Law, and G.W. will make himself King Greoge?

Ready and Waiting

Thomas is ready to mix you your favorite beverage at 'Fire in the Hole'

Tell Santa what you Want

Well Ling-Ling has taken the job of Santa this year. Its quite appropriate seeing as how their so sweet and kind hearted. Louise wanted to do it just so she could tell people they've been to bad to receive gifts... and then laugh in their face. I told her to get a life and she said, "Right back at ya, bitch!" Here are some of our creepier monkeys waiting to tell Santa Ling what they want...

Rosie went first and all she asked for was a skin graph or two. She was Angelina's way back in the day and while she did stitch Rosie's face up, it's slowly been coming apart all these years. Santa Ling gave her a guitar instead. I think that since their so fond of guitars, well Ling is anyway, that is what they give to everyone... regardless of what you ask for.

But don't let that stop you. Go on, tell Santa Ling if you've been good or bad and what gift you'd like for it.

Meet the Monkeys

Hello everyone, Jess here to introduce you to Margarete... where are you Margarete? Come out, come out wherever you are...
There she is, don't be shy! Margarete is from Haiti... she is kind of a high Voo-Doo priestess. When we first got her we noticed something odd about her hands and feet...

Namely, she doesn't have any! Jade said she was a prostitute who had her hands severed during a freak accident. I was set to believe that, with her facial expression and all, but then I heard from Zongo that she is actually his wife!

He explained he had to cut her hands off to prevent her from stealing his things, guess he is rather possessive of his stuff. Her feet had to go too so she wouldn't run away from him. Doesn't sound so great being Zongo's wife... Big Brass take heed.

The other monkeys are nice to her and treat her no differently than anyone else. However, I have heard Frankie Monkey trying to talk her into getting some prosthetics, think he has a thing for them little sicko that he is.

Bombed at The Bombshelters!

Hello all, Jess here to share a few pics from The Bombshelters ornament making party that was held up in Tucson on Saturday. Kate and I had sucked down of few Bloody Mary's while shopping on 4th Ave. so by the time I arrived I was pretty lit. Here are some pics of the people who went and a few of the things they made...
There are only a few rules about the party. One, you MUST make an ornament. Two, they ALL get tossed out after Christmas. This guy is the ONLY exception to the rules. He was made long ago by an art student (that right?) and has held a special spot atop the tree every year.

This is Douglas, Colleena Hake's friend. I fell in love with him...

Kate made the sun... and you can see Gregg's 'Obama Santa' too...

Louise told me the blonde was, "A rude bitch! I've been talking to her for the last ten minutes and not one word from her! I thought Tucson people were suppose to be nice... "

Looking through Bombshelter photo albums of Christmas pasts I couldn't help but notice the reacquiring theme of both male and female genitalia. Keeping with the tradition Louise made 'vage' ornament above

Jade and Sean got busy...

This is Jade's favorite one, don't know the name of the girl who made it

She came, she saw, she made thousands of ornaments!

Nothing like a little flame on the tree

Don giving hanging pointers not doubt

Sean's upside down crucifix

Douglas and our host, the lovely Diane Bombshelter. Thanks Don and Diane, it was great!