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Friday, July 31, 2009

Brand New Bag!

If you remember a few nights ago we attended a dinner party at Nicole's house. That night as Frankie Monkey was winning over Katie's love (and her awesome tongue), Louise was busy working on Nicole's best friend, Angelyn. I kept hearing Louise offer her more wine, "Ha, ha, ha. Oh, Ange...How about another glass of vino?" I thought for sure that Louise was trying to hook up with her.
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Turns out she just wanted to get her drunk and steal her hand bag....

What's That?

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We are headed up to St. Augustine for the next few days, but with Linda at the wheel who knows if we'll have enough gas to make it.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Monkey Love!

We went to Nicole's house two nights ago for a dinner party. While there, Frankie Monkey met Katie, a good friend  to both Linda and Nicole. "Oh my god... Look at her beautiful tongue!" The two of them hit it off! He says he will still sacrifice his stuffing for Nicole's breast enlargement, but not till after Katie has dumped him and moved on.
By the looks of this pic, it will be later than sooner. Frankie Monkey was heard asking, "Who doesn't like a little monkey business?" 

Monday, July 27, 2009

Denver??

As you know Louise was headed off to Florida to bake, I mean bask, in the warm sun. The first flight took her to the Denver Airport. With a two and a half hour lay over she had lots of time to kill before catching her connecting flight to Orlando. She decided to camp out in the airport's smoking bar.....
The place ran a two drink minimum just to sit in an enclosed area especially for smokers. Louise ordered two Long Islands and settled in. It was just her luck that it was two for two Sunday. She woke up hours later huddled in an airport restroom stall. She was using a sheet of t.p. as a blanket. Realizing she had missed her flight by hours she called Frankie with a fabricated story about a wrong turn. Chew-Mee must have answered because all she got was a 'click!'
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Sunday, July 26, 2009

Mr.Lonely

Oh sure have fun in Flor-e-duh Cherry Blossom, see what I care!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Florida!

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That's right she is outta here! Tune in for adventures from, where else, Florida! (Orlando and St. Augustine)

Thursday, July 23, 2009

One 4 Da Squid

Dis 1 goes out 4 da Squid AKA Jade,it comes from one of the best Squid Sci-fi movies ever......

Hope that tentacle heals fast O'Squidish One.


Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Going Under

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Louise went into Keith Richards Medical Institute to have her track marks sewn up. Let's check it out, shall we?

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Rat in the Window

Aerosmith has Rats in the cellar, and we have one in the window looking for Louise.....

I did not know Rat Fink and Louise had a history together.

Monday, July 20, 2009

And Action!

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Louise was shooting a new commercial for Mexican Express Stiletto Blades this afternoon. She refused to read from the script and kept calling the blade the, "Mexican Express Card..." She was not getting it and the director was fuming. He told her to take five. Twenty five minutes later she still hadn't come back. She must have climbed out the bathroom window and could be anywhere (although she is probably at Elmo's) by now. Be warned she's out there with that new blade just looking for a rumble!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Making a Buck or Two

Louise was seen at Elmo's last night, despite her clever disguise! Having heisted Jade's stash she was off to make some cash!
She loitered outside for a bit while greeting the bars entering patrons. "Hey, good to see ya...Wanna buy some pills?"
After a bit she went inside and ordered a drink. Business was slow so she moved it into the men's restroom.
She made a killing in there! Sold herself and all her stash! Heard she partied the night away and came home owing six different people twenty bucks.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Looks like someone got into those pills after all! Sure is quite around here now that she is all doped up....
Will we see any more Wheel of Death paintings? Just where is that elusive Chew-Mee Moore? And who the heck is Dr. Sloot?

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Feeding Time

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As you can see we have our hands full over here! Keeping Louise away from from Jade and her medication is a full time job! I should have been suspicious when she offered to make Jades lunch today. Somehow Louise managed to steal three pills out of the bottle. I'm not sure why she just didn't take the three she had stolen. Knowing her, I'm guessing she wanted them all. "Suckers go for five dollars a pop at Elmo's!" After I caught her in Jade's room I had to lock her up in an old dog carrier I had stashed in the closet. It will hold her for the night, at least I hope!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Visiting Hours

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Louise, have you no shame?

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Wheel of Death Pt.7 Spaced Out

After being vaporized in Japan Louise's dust floated up into outer space. It was there that her dust meet up with a man made object from earth, the Sputnik. Yes Louise had now become a 'Commie Red Cosmonaut' and a very good one at that. All was going well for her, until that one mission when she mixed way too many Stoli crystals and not enough Tang crystals. She was so wasted she didn't even notice when her oxygen line had came unhooked...
She had become a Space Oddity.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Wheel of Death Pt.6 He-Row-She-Ma

Now her 6th life was by far the worst. It was also the shortest. When Louise came back this time she found herself in Tokyo dressed in a kimono. Not a great place to be since the date was August 3rd 1945, and the whole city had been burnt to a cinder. Something else was strange, even tho Louise was dress Japanese she could not speak Japanese. To make maters worse there were wanted posters everywhere with her picture on them saying she was a murderous US air pilot and must be killed at any cost. The first person that she met recognized her photo and soon an angry mob was after her beating her with bamboo sticks as she tried escaped through the Tokyo sewer system. Fearing for her life, she knew she had to get out of Japan ASAP. She started to head south and by the third day she was starving. She tried to find breakfast in this town she called He-row-she-ma in her really bad Japanese.......
Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time! The only thing left of Louise was her shadow and fallen red bow.
What is going to happen now? Will Louise be able to return to have yet another life after being Nuked? Tune in soon to find out...

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Wheel of Death Pt.5 Cherry Blossom in Your Face

In her next life Louise comes back as an American. The first thing she did was join the Air Force. She was sent to China to fly with the Flying Tigers. At last she found her true calling in life, killing! She became a flying ace in no time and earned the nickname Struts. The only thing higher that her kill count was her psychiatric evaluation score, a class one psycho. She didn't just kill, she LOVED to kill! Soon the Japanese put a price on her head.
One sad day it all caught up to her. She was headed home, exhausted, after a particularly messy mission. Maybe it was because she was a little hungry, or maybe she just needed a drink, whatever the reason she became distracted by the lovely sunset. Before she knew it she heard a high pitch whining sound, and just under that she thought she heard someone yelling in broken English from above. "Banzai, FUK U Louise Monkey!" She looked up just in time to see a Cherry Blossom Kamikaze coming in hot and fast!
It was none other that Ichi Wan Blossom! Cherry's every own grandfather! He was chosen as the top Kamikaze pilot in training to be sent on the dangerous mission to liquidate her! (Click to get a better view of Ichi Wan)
"Oh shit!?"
(Stay tuned for part 6)

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Truth is Stranger than Fiction

While re-doing the front porch we uncovered some old newspaper clippings blaming Louise for the Hindenburg accident. Hm....before it was just her getting killed, now it's starting to involve innocent bystanders. Maybe since she is developing a knack for taking others out we should put it to good use.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Louise Vision

I took this photo by mistake. But the camera shaking gave it a cool effect so I decided to post it. This is how Louise sees life whether she is drunk or sober.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Wheel of Death Pt.4 Ya Got a Light?

After floating around in the North Atlantic for almost 20 years, Louise finally washes up on a beach not far from Kiel, Germany. She soon finds work at the local Zeppelin Factory, looking so sexy in her lederhosen. In this life she becomes a drug addict for the first time. She would sneak off to huff on the hydrogen tanks while riveting the outer frames of the Zeppelins. Her nickname back then was 'Ol Gas Bag'. One day, while working on the Hindenburg she huffed way too much 'Hydro' and past out. She must have been past out for days because next thing she knew they were just about to dock in New Jersey. Having awoken Louise decided to lite up a smoke..."Ah, nothing like a smoke when you first wake up from a long nap...."
(Take note of Louise's all ash body)

I found this cool video that I had to add it. I've never seen it it color before. Nice going Louise! Don't you know smoking is dangerous!

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Sarah & Louise's ANWR HUNTING CAMP

Now that Sarah Palin is going to leave office, (Read from Chew-Mee's news paper) http://www.etaiwannews.com/etn/news_content.php?id=994609&lang=eng_news I hear that Louise and Sarah are going to open a Hunting Camp in ANWR.



Friday, July 3, 2009

Happy Birthday....

Louise says, "What 40? Julia I thought your were turning 50....Oh well, happy birthday and all that. I guess..."

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Wheel of Death Pt.3 Bottoms Up

In her next life Louise finds herself in England still. Before she dies from bad food or a gutting by the Ripper again, she makes plans to go to America. After saving all her money she booked passage first class on some old rust bucket she referred to as the 'Tit'. One night, while on the boat, Louise was making up some martinis. She was getting ready to make a third batch when she saw there was no more ice. She rang for service only to be told, "Sorry no room service after midnight." This would not do. She put a magnet on the ships compass so it would go really close to an iceberg. Once that happened she could scrape some ice off for her martini. The rest they say is history.

Louise could have saved herself that night, but she would have to let go of the martini to grab the life preserver and letting go of a martini was unheard of. She would not wash up on shore for years after that, till one day on some beach in Germany.......

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Runs in the Family

Here is a distant relative of Louise's. You can see she comes from a long line of
Boozers and...
Hoods. (Ed Smith age 16. Girl probably younger, name unknown)